Gay Romance and First Impressions: Trust Your Gut

When it comes to separating gay romance from first impressions, we fall short in one way more than any other: we do not trust our guts. Research shows that we’re all pretty equal in how accurate our gut reactions are, no matter how good or bad we think we are at them.

If you reflect back on those romantic relationships that went south (not in a good way), didn’t you have an inkling right from the start that he wasn’t “The One?” Didn’t the relationship end because you could no longer stand an annoying habit you saw on the first date or you could no longer provide excuses for some pretty inexcusable behavior? You knew all along, but did not trust your instincts. Your gut was trying to tell you something.

First impressions that hit us over the head (“Wow! He talks way too much and isn’t paying attention to me at all.”) or ones that feel like subtle and vague instincts (“Am I just being judgmental or is he a little unstable?”) are equally accurate.

To counteract these aspects of not trusting your gut, take in the whole picture. Taking in the whole picture increases your accuracy and gives you a sense of choice and control. Accurate first impressions are made up of facial expressions, style of dress, hairstyle, facial markings (does your date have laugh lines bracketing his mouth or worry lines on his forehead?).

And, what’s better is that even if your date is attempting to manage how he portrays himself by changing his dress, facial expressions, or other aspects of his appearance, chances are really good that your perception will still be accurate.