No more finding the same wrong guy over and over or wondering why men you like don’t want to go out again. Instead, encourage the development of a healthy connection with the right guy by modifying a few things about your first date game plan.
Too much information!!
A mistake often made on the first date is disclosing too much information about yourself. There’s no need to tell your date your life story on the first date! Opening up too quickly can make you feel vulnerable leading you to disclose even more information, or drink too much, or do something similarly counterproductive (read, Stupid) to offset these feelings. Unintentionally you’ll scare off a potential partner or cause a relationship to crash and burn quickly.
Too much drama!!
Long lasting and healthy relationships are built on trust. True trust can’t be gained immediately, it is something that must be earned and built, and your first date may be laying the groundwork for the future. Never flood him with shocking revelations. Instead start slowly. Reveal small items, nothing personally overwhelming. Most importantly remember to space the disclosures out. Pay attention to how he responds.
“Did he really listen, respond appropriately, try to relate, or open up in a similar manner in return? If so, you are on your way to building trust and intimacy. If he ran away maybe it was too much! Don’t lose hope just chalk it up to learning and keep moving forward.”
Approaching a first date with these two concepts in mind can help prevent you from disclosing too much personal information or pressing him to share more than he wants to yet. Leaving your desire to spill your life story and the twenty questions at home will help in setting a tone that allows you to truly get to know what its like to spend time with your date. Learning more about each other every time you get together is part of the adventure.
If you are sitting across from Mr. Right on your first date then you will have plenty of time to discover one anothers’ deepest secrets. These secrets may be the things you love the most about your partner 10 years down the road, but would have sent you running on the first date!
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